Dear Jesse and all of your families, March 17^th, 2015

Top of the mornin tu ya... and a Happy Saint Patrick's day! I couldn't be Grand daughter to a woman who loved her Ireland... the same woman that was mother to your beloved Husband, father, grand father... and not acknowledge that it is Saint Patrick's Day! Happy Saint Patty's Day to all of you. My heart aches with your loss.

I wish that I had been more involved in your lives over the years... then I would know just exactly what to say right now to help you feel better. All that I can say is that with the recent passing of my own mother... Davey's little sister... I have come to some what understand what you have lived most of your lives. I am so glad that Jesse came into all of your lives. I am so sorry to hear of your dads passing.

I have come to know him a little better over recent years... because I have gotten to know Auntie Madeline. She has told me wonderful stories of your dad... therefore showing me who your dad was.

I was very young when our families stopped getting together. I feel proud of my self when I can recite all of your names... though I never get you in order... I always know that Dean is first and Dale is last. There were SEVEN of you... I just couldn't imagine what it would be like to have that many siblings! I would do this to hang on to the memories of when we did get together.

I was always amused by your names... Either a 'J 'or a 'D' and only 4 letters long. I thought it was ingenious. Easy for the child to learn and it showed that your parents were playful.

I will tell you what I believe... I hope it helps you in some little way. I believe that we are all souls. We come into this world with it and we leave this world with it. We have been here before and we will return again some day. We are all on a journey.

So... I hope that you can see that your dad is off unto the next part of his journey. He is still here... though. He is in a space so close that he can touch you... but you can only see him in your thoughts and dreams. So... embrace those times, because that is how he has to communicate with you now.

He can still guide you if that is what you need... he will self reflect and share his thoughts on that subject... he will pat you on the back when he is proud of you... all those things that you imagine right now will never happen again. If you want them you will see them in your dreams... you will feel them in your thoughts.

Remember that this is a time of 'Self reflection' for him... he didn't get it ALL right but he did pretty good for the most part.

Embrace him he is still there.

Love your cousin, Marian.